I've gotten back in touch with so many of my sorority sisters from college and it's been such a great feeling! It's weird to think that we are adults now and our priorities have drastically changed from socials to families. One of my sorority sisters, Ashley has a blog and another friend of mine I've known since elementary school, Angie, has one too. Reading their blogs amaze me - they are so brutally honest and not in a bad way of course. Their blogs have been totally open to their feelings - hopes, dreams, fears. I respect them so much for writing about this stuff. I mean, it's not easy to admit certain things and both of them totally laid it out there. Ashley struggles with infertility and she's blogging about her journey. God blessed her and her husband with a girl, Emma, after undergoing fertility treatments. She miscarried recently after undergoing another round of treatments and is even more thankful to have Emma. My friend from elementary school, Angie, had IVF and was blessed with twins! A boy and a girl. Even though they came 12 weeks early, Angie never faulted in her belief that the Lord performs miracles. After many months in the NICU, Angie and her husband were able to take their baby girl home, however the baby boy had to stay. Unfortunately, at 5 months of age, the baby boy passed away. Reading her story broke my heart, but it also provided hope...hope that the baby girl survived for a reason. She is almost 2 years old now. God bless both of their families...and I pray they continue to have the courage to move forward each day.
It's amazing how you grow up and how much your priorities change. I know for me, the "growing up" part happened later rather than sooner. Am I regretful? Not at all!! I was able to go out, act a fool and make a few mistakes along the way. I'm glad I was able to do that because at the end of the day, I was able to get a clear picture of what I wanted for my life and out of my life. My relationship with Hubby is by no means perfect - we have our differences from time to time just like everyone else. And boy am I glad because what would each of us bring to the table if we were exactly the same? I will never forget our Pre-Cana classes that we had to take before we got married. Our marriage is a priority - I still have the note that the Father gave us which reads: I will not let anything get in the way of our marriage, not even our children. This makes so much sense to me! Even though the love we share for each other is unconditional, we, as individuals, will change throughout the years. Add everything else that life will throw at you into the mix and it's easy to lose sight of one another. I pray that we will stay grounded enough to recognize if this ever happens...and hopefully it won't. My priorities have definitely shifted...and boy am I glad! I welcome the new priorities with wide-open-arms. I can't even imagine running around like I did in my 20's in my 30's...ick. No thank you! I'm thankful every day for everything - where I am, who I am with, my family, my friends...everything! Those years of having other priorities can stay exactly where they are - back in the past!
I definitely have hopes and dreams...and fears. I'm not as upfront with my fears because I don't necessarily want to put those fears out in the universe. I try my hardest to put out the positives in the universe and not the negatives. After my Sister died, I gained such a whole new perspective in life. My relationship with my Sister was so different. I try to not be fearful of things because that isn't the way to live your life. I learned from her that life is very precious and to never take it for granted. There are times though where I can feel my mind start to fill up with certain fears - like death. I start to get fearful of the "what if's." As soon as this happens, I try to "snap out" of it and force myself to think positive and enjoy what I have. I know that if I let my mind fill up with all these worries then I would be living life in anxiety, rather than living life in happiness.
As Hubby and I approach our 1 year anniversary soon, I realize how much things in my life have changed. I live in NYC of all places and I'm married! And by married, I mean married to someone who is truly my better half! For the first time in 2.5 years, I am able to say, Wow! I LOVE living up here! I think it took me that long to get used to life up here. I used to hate this time of year because it meant that Winter was on its way. This time, I realized how wonderful Autumn is. I've accepted the life that comes with living up here and you know what? It's not so bad - actually, it's pretty great! (knock on wood) Sure our rent is sky high and our apartment is small, but it's all part of the experience. They say once you're a New Yorker that it will never leave you. I totally understand what that means now and I am very thankful for being able to experience this once in my life. I'm thankful for everything and everyone in my life - including you. :)
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