For those who know me, know that I am optimistic...happy-go-lucky, even. Maybe not 24/7, but it's a make up of who I am inside. I've had some serious, heavy-duty events happen in my life, but I've always been able to accessorize putting one foot in front of the other with a smile. I always had faith that things happen for a reason and that there is enough good in the world to surpass the bad. If I truly wanted to succumb to the negativity, I would wake up, go to sleep and everything else in between with nothing but complaints and negative thoughts. Even those days when I'm not doing so well or those days I'm sad, I kept pushing forward...happily.
So for a few weeks - scratch that - I mean, several weeks, I've been kinda down in the dumps. Not depressed or anything, but just kinda down. I found myself being a negative nancy day in...and day out. All I could do all day was reminisce about my career, New York City, etc. etc. In a nutshell, I lost the big picture. I got my real estate license and while I was excited to pursue this, at the end of the day, it wasn't fulfilling to me. I set this aside and did some serious thinking. Exactly what is it that I want to do? Exactly what is it that I'm feeling? Exactly what can be done to get the old Pia back?
It's so true what they say - it's so much easier to be negative then to be positive. I woke up one morning and I realized that the negativity I was putting out in the universe on a daily basis became practically habitual. I even found myself ending statements on a psuedo positive note aka "it will all work out in the end," but hello! Positivity has a beginning and an end. It should begin and end on the right note. It does no good to wah-wah-wah and then try to end it with something positive...totally pointless! Realizing this, I decided to slap on the brakes and slap myself in the face.
I lost sight of the many wonderful things and people I have to be thankful for. How did this happen?! Here is my husband, who is supportive in every way (and I'm so thankful!) sitting back and letting me figure out for myself what is going to make me happy. He knew when he fell in love with me how ambitious and driven I am. To move and to sit at home...well, sucks. Staying home is not for me. I miss those almost impossible goals I had to face each day. I miss leading a meeting and having the eyes on me. I miss the respect of my colleagues. Now...the days all run together. I absolutely hate feeling like my day starts when my husband gets home. It's been very hard to go from making very important decisions to making mundane ones. And that's not even a raindrop of the things I missed. This is so.not.me. As you can see, these were some of the things I focused on and when I snapped back into reality, I looked around and realized - what a waste of time! Summer is almost over and enough is enough.
There were a few things that got me back on track. I re-read The Secret. And it's funny because the positivity I brought in every morning totally works. We are now members at the Downtown Club. This membership, by the way, came out of nowhere. We got a call from our home club saying that it was added with our original country club membership for no additional cost. This has been awesome because I am now back into a running, weights and yoga routine. Feels so good! I started volunteering at Bo's Place. And while that's been emotional, it has been fantastic. I am so passionate about helping these kids! There's some other things that I did to get me out of my funk, but it's irrelevant. The important thing is, I'm baaaaaack!
Okay so all this being said, I've had a lot of time to really think about what I want to do. I declined two jobs that would have been great in one aspect, but again, not fulfilling. Jim has always told me that now is the time for me to do what I love..."this is the time," he says! Seriously love this man! I am so very thankful for him!
So. That being said, I have decided to teach! Yes, you heard me right! I am going to be a teacher! I talked about doing this about 5 years ago, but more in passing...like, oh I would like to do that one day. Well, that 'one day' is now and it's staring me in the face. I started training for my teacher's certification and will hopefully start teaching in January! My passion is to teach inner city kids and possibly in the 4th grade-ish age in (bilingual) Science or English. I'm also interested in working in special education. I want to teach these kids that it's great to be a nerd! :) I just started and have so much more to learn. I'm taking it all in! It's all very exciting and I am thrilled with this decision!
There will always be a past and it's okay to reminisce, I know this. There is a line though and what I don't want is to find myself living in the past. I am living for today and for tomorrow, looking straight ahead...with a warm heart and a huge smile. :)
