Lurkers Are A Lurkin: Part Two

Sitting in the u-turn lane underneath the Highway 59 overpass today, I was the 3rd car in line waiting to go and the light couldn't turn green fast enough. I was approached by a woman trying to wave me down so I could make eye contact. And what a smart woman she was because the last time I looked in the mirror wearing my Ray Ban aviators, I couldn't see my eyes. Woman under the bridge sure was trying her best for me to look in her direction. And I have to admit, I could see her through the corner of my left eye, which was the best I could do without actually turning my head. Was she stranded? Did her car need a jump? Did she have a flat tire? Negative. Woman under the bridge was trying to flag me down for cash. Shocker.

I don't mean to sound insensitive here because I'm not opposed to helping someone out. I have helped in the past and more often than not, it has burned me. I remember it was living at my loft in Midtown that I experienced my first burn. I was headed to my weekly mooching at my Dad's house - also known as dinner at Dad's house. I was sitting at the light and I had my window half open. I had just gotten in my car from a run at the park, after stopping by my apartment to get a bottled water. Man on the street corner was standing right where I stopped my car and asked if I could help him out. Parched from thirst and feeling like a camel, I decided that the best thing I had to offer was my ice cold bottle of Aquafina. I stuck the bottle out of the window and what did Man on the street corner do? He looked at me and said, "Well do you have any money?" Which I sternly replied: "Nope. I don't have cash on me." He then shooed my water away like it was day old milk. The light turned green and as I sped away, I found myself annoyed and frustrated. Here I was, trying to help and I got denied? WTF? And btw, I didn't lie - I really didn't have cash on me. Anyone that knows me knows that I rarely carry cash on me. I actually got better at this after J lectured me over and over again in NYC.

I've lived in Houston the majority of my life and I have so many great things to say about this city. Houston is the 4th largest city in the United States and there's no denying that. This city is huge! I remember being in my 20's and going out and truly taking in everything this city had to offer. Superbowl week anyone? Let's not rehash that week - it sure was a blast! (lol).

But now, after being gone for a few years, I'm a little disappointed with the changes that have occurred...or should I say haven't occurred. I cannot believe that there's so many Lurkers here and that they're continuing to linger here.

Yesterday, while getting gas, a man and a woman in a car honked at a man pumping gas. The man pumping gas approached the car and while he was telling the couple in the car that all he had was $5, I was anxiously waiting for my gas pump to click off so that I could high tail it outta there. Now, people should know that in this type of situation, if anyone honks at you to come to their car, you NEVER EVER approach. The person in the passenger seat could have a gun pointed right at you and that's it - you're trapped.

J and I have been approached quite a few times. It's ridiculous! And each time we walked away knowing it was a scam. When we first moved here, Jim was approached while I was sitting in the car as he was walking back to the car. He simply said he couldn't help and that he was sorry. The man's excuse was his car broke down and he needed money to fix it or something to that effect.

Just a few weeks ago, we went to CVS and as we were walking back to the car, a pregnant woman approached us begging for cash so she could: "...feed my 3 year old who is back at the motel and my fiance just beat me and I need $40 so I can pay for one more night." Jim really only had a couple of bucks in his wallet and he gave it to her. As we got in the car and swiftly locked the door, we were both just annoyed. We both saw a BMW parked near where the lady approached us (the front door of the CVS) with a man waiting inside as the car was running. We both thought that this was the woman's ride. We also both saw that the woman had on a diamond ring and a purse. If you're that desparate, you pawn everything you can to make do...to make it one more day. She did look desparate, but we both couldn't help but feel like we just got scammed. Again.

I wanted to tell the woman that there are resources here in Houston that will help her. Case in point, the Women's Center. I did volunteer work for them several years ago and they exist to help women in these type's of situations. After this one, we vowed never to stop again and basically to just pretend like we don't speak English and to just keep on walking.

And don't think this just happens within the city limits. This is happening in the suburbs...and at times, moreso there! I even worked an open house in the 'burbs in an amazing neighborhood and came across a similar situation. I actually had my mace in my hand, just in case.

What's sad is that most of the time, the people that are panhandling aren't even in need. Investigave reports show that some of these people make $40k a year! That's more than some hard working teachers out there!

This brings me to my point.

I lived in the largest city in the U.S. - a city of 8 MILLION people! And I can honestly say that NYC does an incredible job of preventing Lurkers from doing this. Sure you get your occassional panhandlers on the subway screaming at the top of their lungs that their electric bill is due and they would appreciate anything you had. But this wasn't an every day thing. It was actually pretty rare. Since an iPod is attached to everyones ears, the subway Lurkers don't get much response because people can't hear them. Walking down the street, you NEVER get approached by the homeless, Lurkers or such. They keep their distance. They may be sitting/laying up against the wall or on a bench in the subway station, but they never physically come up to you. They may be talking to themselves or an imaginary person twitching away, but they mind their biz.

Houston has half of the people that NYC does, but twice more square footage (at least), yet it seems that they aren't doing anything to prevent these scenarios. If NYC, as a city, can provide resources/programs/help to prevent Lurker type situations, then Houston should be able to as well. The sad part is, Houston is such a friendly city and people will stop to help you. So you take these Lurkers who know this and take full advantage of it. Ick! Imagine if I had never lived here before and I was truly new to Houston. Or imagine that visitors are being approached in the same manner. We've all learned that people would much rather speak the bad than the good. Visitors could have had a wonderful time in Houston, but all it takes is this one instant and bam - what a horrible impression Houston is giving!

Houston is such an amazing city. It offers so much that the pride people have in being a Houstonian is highly contagious. Hopefully the city will recognize this snafu and provide some positive long term solutions. It's too great of a place not to.

*******

Update: I'm actually thinking about going to the next City Council meeting and giving a speech regarding this. If you'd like to sound off, all you have to do is make an appointment to be heard. Each speaker receives 3 minutes! Oh, btw, I know this because I've done it once before. Several years ago, I volunteered for the Smoke Free Houston Organization and became the representative in my age group. I actually found a copy of the old minutes from that meeting! To read it, click here.

Six and A Half Reasons to Smile

Obviously from the last few posts, you can get a sense of how hectic things are right now. I don't do well in transition and/or in limbo and it has brought on a hurricane full of emotions. Jim kept saying that once we got to TX that I'd feel better - that we were making strides in moving forward. Well, he was right.

We touched down early Saturday morning and I immediately felt better...Texas is home. I slipped on my flip flops and my pale feet and toes were dancing. Being away for quite some time, you forget just how NICE people are down South. I mean, they're really nice! It automatically puts you in a good mood.

After house hunting all day, we were exhausted! Our lovely friend, Pam, is also our realtor. She is amazing! She tells me she isn't patient, but when I look at her, I see nothing but patience. Pam has an aura about her that I can't quite put into a single word - put it this way, she can be personable and be factual at the same time. She can laugh at watching Jim and I go back and forth, but in a split second she can get us focused on the big picture. I admire that because at times, that comes challenging to me. When I'm in business, I'm all biznass.

After talking about all the houses we saw and not really sleeping that well, Jim and I decided on a house to make our offer on. The next day, we met up with Pam again for lunch and to look at the house one more time. Afterwards, Jim and I drove around and stopped by a few places before he dropped me off at Freebirds to meet my girls.

Seeing the girls was different for me this time - I wasn't seeing them as a visitor and I felt like they were right around the corner and not just a phone call away. Having dinner with them made me smile and it was the best mood I've been in, in such a long time. As if that's not good enough, I was finally able to meet Ella bear...this was the ice cream on the cake! She is so freaking cute and happy and so sweet. It seems like I've had this face :( on for so long and in one day, it changed. At that very moment, there were six and a half reasons for me to smile...and they were all right in front of me.

Isn't Ella just the cutest?



Even though we're still in transition, it feels good to be back in the lone star state. Slowly but surely I'm exhaling. :)